4 AM

It seems so hard to understand what the others want from us. It’s understandable, sometimes I don’t even know what I want from myself.

Why it’s so hard to get along with other people’s needs and choices? We can communicate in so many ways and still, most of the times, we choose to remain silent.

We look for the perfect one to hold our hand and share our moments of joy and sadness. Even if we’re doing great by ourselves, it feels so good when you have someone next to you. Love is the answer for most of our problems and I totally agree.

Generally talking, or maybe from my point of view. I just felt the need of writing about how people waste time fighting and arguing on stupid things without realizing that time flies and hours, minutes, seconds of our lives pass by. Time won’t come back and it’s sad because we don’t appreciate how lucky we are. Lucky for the life we’re living, for our friends and family, for the daily routine we’re having. This has nothing to do with depression people, I’m just trying to understand what’s the point? Life is beautiful and nothing can change that. We are free and we can. We can always find a solution for our problems and in the end, we can live like there’s no tomorrow. I’m not saying to ignore all the sad aspects of life and pretend we’re happy, but still we could try to appreciate the fact that WE ARE ALIVE. We are young and we possess the greatest power ever: love.

This is the time when we give the best of us and wait for the same in return.

Whatever God prepares for our destiny – we have to believe. And we have to be prepared for everything.

Yes, if things don’t go as planned we could go on a different path but we never know where that path might take us or who might be watching..

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A new beginning

We are living in a world of happiness, at least that’s how it looks like.

But if we share our feelings by showing off in clubs and partying or updating our Facebook status by ending with a smile, there is no certitude that we feel complete, one way or another. What happens when we are between the borders of two different worlds?  We pretend everything is perfect and do nothing? Or maybe we say it’s time to face the problems and see things through a pair of “brand new” eyes.

Sometimes you feel happy and sad. And you still try to figure out how it’s that even possible.

Looking around me I see all kind of people. Some of them are facing problems they never had before.  When they escape from a daily routine or a long relationship, it feels like suffocating. I know that feeling so damn good, I had it for a long time. But even if you feel lost, you know time has come. Time for a change, a big one.  Bad situations are caused by bad decisions. But what happens when it feels the opposite – what happens when it feels like the best decision of your life?

If someone would ask me what’s the best and worst decision I’ve ever made.. I would probably need some time to think and still give no answer. I regret many things in my life but, because of those bad decisions I am who I am right now. I feel like a different person and ready to face a new world, and why not, same problems again. I know how to handle extreme situations and how not to feel uncomfortable, disappointed or sad anymore.

Who am I?

Day by day, I learn more things about myself. I know where my place is and I also know it’s not home. Talking with people I realised that I’m not the only one. Many of us leave the country because of a reason: a relationship without trust that ended bad, parental control or money. You might find yourself between these reasons, but I don’t. Sometimes it’s better to fallow your heart, and if you feel better in the other corner of the world, well, just do it! You don’t have to think twice, at the end, how bad could it be? Seeing different places around the world and meeting new people, having a job, money and why not, your personal life.

I think it’s time for a new beginning. 

 

Fashionable inside

 

Fashion is love.

At least, that’s what I think. Even if we don’t admit it, fashion can be  easily considered a passion, a hobby or a drug. We look in the mirror probably at least 10 times a day. If not, even more. Why is so important our aspect nowadays? Are we doing it for ourselves or just because we are obsessed with what the others think?

Did it ever happened to you not going out  because you don’t like the way you hair looks? Or because you’re just having a “bad day”? To me, it happened. Many times. More than I even remember. And every time on the next day I feel miserable because I denied so many ways of having fun with my friends just because I was being stupid. And this is definitely not a way of living.

Sometimes I just need a no make-up-no high-heels-day. I feel like I want to escape from this routine of taking care of my perfect curls.

I wish I could go out with my friends clubbing in my favourite party place without losing precious hours in front of the mirror JUST THINKING at my outfit. Those hours are gone, not coming back!

And this is how time flies and we don’t know.

 

We’re afraid to admit the world we live in is cruel. So we pretend life is pink, but what happens when we receive that cold shower of reality? We have to face the pain, the fear, the fake people. Imagine a world where we don’t have to pretend we’re somebody else, where we could be us like in a familiar environment. Not only outside, but inside too. Many people told me I’m different after they got the chance to meet me. Different? How can you pretend knowing me if you just see what I let you to see?

Being sarcastic always works, so we could use our humour to transform a bad day in an extraordinary one! We forget the important people from our lives and our priorities just because we’re too afraid of what others think. I say, let people talk about your life! That’s all they could do because they don’t have one. In the end, bad gossip is good PR.

So be fabulous! Treat yourself as the most important but don’t forget, the one who loves you for real will always be next to you. Even if you have chicken pox or an eyebrow missing.

 

 

Decisions, decisions

Hmm. I choose SUCCESS.

When we talk about the people around us, we feel no discomfort at all. But when we talk about ourselves, why is it so hard to decide what is good and bad for us? In a world where everybody cares about their own, I try to help the others first and leave me at the end. The last but not the least, someone smart said.

Hard decisions of life come when you least expect them. The key of the problem could be right in front of you, but few of us has the power of seeing it. It’s invisible and hard to detect, but somehow it exists. So we think it’s better to ask our friends and family what is the right thing to do. NOT! Never do that. Friends, well. They could be divided in two groups, and the two groups could be divided in another two groups and we could go like this until the last friend, which is not really a friend, by the way. On the other side, known as top important in life, family has the most important influence on us. But that doesn’t mean they should take the most important decisions of our life for us. My grandma always used to say: “You reap what you sow”. So I think it’s better to choose for your future, even if you have a feeling that it’s not the right thing to do. If it will turn to be bad, it’s not everything lost. You always learn something from your mistakes. If everything will be okay, better. I love the feeling when I scream from the bottom of my heart:

“I told you I was right”!

Pretending this life is not that miserable, sometimes I just need a moment for myself. Good decisions in life could mark your future in the rainbow colours and everybody will live happily ever after. But this is not a typical romance movie and we all know there is no happy ending. At least, not for now. Bad decisions instead could change your perspective of life and your self esteem, and we don’t want this for us. I always say the most important person in my life is myself. If I don’t take care of myself, who will? If I don’t show people around me that I respect myself, first of all,  how will they ever know that I know what respect means? Self respect is most important, and if you don’t have it.. well you can say bye-bye to your future Hollywood lifestyle! It’s not gonna happen.

Our life is like a candle in the wind. You never know for sure what’s going to happen next, but you smile. Maybe the wind will go away. If not, you have something in your pocket. That could be a lighter or the idea that will change your life..

Thinking of nothing

Today I realized I need more space for my words and because my laptop is probably my best friend, I will start updating this blog for myself, first of all, and next for everybody who thinks this is something different. I don’t see myself an important person or a model for someone in life, but I do think I share same feelings with people of my age, and not only. I am not afraid to walk this world alone, but if you want to do it with me, you’re more than welcome!

It’s a beautiful world outside my window. I don’t wanna call it a depressing day! between us, depressing it’s a “pretty” ugly word! (funny how pretty and ugly can sometimes be part of the same sentence) Anyway, I don’t know what’s happening to me lately. Don’t feel like going out, and trust me, I’m a party animal! Thinking is now part of my daily routine. Suddenly, I find myself spending most of the day thinking of next day, next month, next year too! This is the perfect moment when I’m waiting for someone to tell me:

“DO NOT BE WORRIED, I do the same!”

So what do you think I should do? I’m not lonely. I’m just alone in my world of thoughts. Some of them are changing color into dark, but it’s similar to life. I stopped believing this world is Wonderland when I found out Santa it’s just a legend and love is just a four letter word.